Every year sees terrible films released, and they usually make a lot of money. Fortunately I managed to avoid the real insults of the year - films such as The Last Airbender and Cop Out - so my list features six films that may not have been terrible, but nevertheless were entirely disappointing.
6. Monsters
The director of Monsters, Gareth Edwards, referred to the film as a romance...that just happened to be set in a quarantine zone filled with aliens. From that alone I expected something completely original at best, or at least a modern adventure tale. What we got can only be described as an art-house creature feature that couldn't actually afford to show the creatures more than two or three times. Which is ridiculous, seeing as they are the about four stories tall. The two lead characters make this a decent film, but calling the movie Monsters is nothing more than a tease, so it's my number six.
What I would have done better: If you can't show these giant creatures all the time at least have their presence felt more often. A sound effect, smoke in the distance, anything!
5. The Human Centipede
I know what you're saying. Now shut up and hear me out. I didn't expect The Human Centipede to be good in the regular sense, but as a fan of exploitation films I thought this film had great potential. The end result was boring, scandalous for the sake of being scandalous, and worst of all it was sensationalised. I can understand when bad films with big marketing budgets get more attention than good films with small marketing budgets, but when an abysmal stain like The Human Centipede is treated like the first film of its kind because it gets a decently sized, undeserved release I just get angry. This is one of the two films on this list that would appear in a list of the worst films of 2010 for me.
What I would have done better: Set the film in the 50's and made the doctor a Nazi. It's exploitation cinema after all.
4. Savages Crossing
This is the second of those films. Want to know the definition of embarrassed? Me at the Gold Coast premiere of this film. John Jarratt managed to pull together a decent budget for this film, and he blew it completely on, I assume, the actor's paychecks. Is his character recently out of jail or rehab? Does he want $10 million or half the value of the house? The script is bad, most of the actors play like they're on Home & Away, and what's worse is that this film is only going to make it harder for Australian film makers to get independent financing. I respect what John tried to do, but this is a bad film.
What I would have done better: Not been so self indulgent with the script and focused on actual continuity.
3. Hot Tub Time Machine
How do you fuck up a homage to the teenage comedies of the 80's with John Cusack in it? I bet that's how the pitch went too. "They go back to the 80's and everything is like it is in those old teen comedies. It'll star John Cusack." Bam! Here's your money! How can you go wrong? Well you can have all of one decent reference, which is to a film Cusack was in as a co-star and not a lead. The rest of the jokes are tired and boring. Crispin Glover is brilliant as always, and Chevy Chase has a decent cameo, but this film was completely ruined by failing to use one of the greatest actors from the films they are paying tribute to and by delivering one of the worst endings seen this decade.
What I would have done better: Actually incorporated jokes relevant to the theme of the film instead of trying to make a standard, mediocre comedy.
2. I'm Still Here
This could have been fantastic. It could have been in the same vein as Borat or Bruno without having to resort to base, offensive bullshit. But Phoenix and Affleck failed. Watching I'm Still Here is uncomfortable and rarely funny. The worst part was that both men came out the night before the premiere and said that it was fake! That's like when Tony Abbott said you can't always believe what politicians promise: of course not, we all know it, but you're not meant to say it.
What I would have done better: Made the film fun instead of a character analysis. Oh, and I wouldn't have TOLD EVERYONE IT WAS FAKE BEFORE THE FILM WAS EVEN RELEASED!
1. Scott Pilgrim VS The World
I've never read the graphic novels. I've always thought Edgar Wright was overrated. I haven't liked Michael Cera since Juno. So it's surprising that this is the most disappointing film I've seen all year. However, I'm pretty sure that if you play the film in rewind you can hear a voice begging you to find the film cool, but in a geeky way. The art style is fantastic but unless you knew the background of the film you'd wonder just why the hell you can see soundwaves emanating from the guitar or when a door slams why the word 'Bang!' appears. Scott Pilgrim VS The World knows what it wants to be and tries to be it a little too hard. Combined with the fact that the third act feels rushed means this film certainly didn't live up to its potential. Regardless, the acting is great and the theme is pretty clever and original, so it certainly isn't a bad film.
What I would have done better: Contextualised the art style, and not tried so damn hard to be cool.
That's that for now. The list of top six best films of the year will be here tomorrow, so keep an eye out.
No comments:
Post a Comment